smashing OR too often, i'm the silly girl

last week, i went to see our local high school's performance of "bye, bye birdie." there were some funny parts, but my overall impression was that i came away from it "unsettled." still, i think i totally missed the real point until a friend described her character to me: "I just think she's silly. Lots of people fixate on [someone] or something to fill voids in their lives. It just seems goofy because he's a rock star."

BOOM! she hit the nail on the head and kind of gave me a verbal gut-punch all at the same time. you would think that when i've been spending the last month or so noticing verses like 1 Corinthians 10:14 & 1 John 5:21, i would have gotten it. or God's mocking tone in Isaiah 44:9-20 (which i recently highlighted in a message i was preaching) which is so very similar to the point of the musical.

why was it unsettling? because of the rampant nature of idolatry in our culture? maybe to degree that was why. or was it a little closer to home? because i am so prone to idolatry myself? BINGO!!!and what is idolatry? when something or someone - even something good - becomes ultimate - ie. taking the place that ONLY God should occupy. oftentimes, my biggest idol is me - my will, my control, my intelligence, my righteousness, my sufficiency, my problem solving, my schedule, etc. etc. etc. - other times it's something that totally captures my focus - sporting events, information, friendships, ministry! when i find my value and my identity in these things rather than in Christ, this is idolatry. (and it's such an emotional roller coaster)

so what's the answer? sometimes i need to be reminded that i'm the silly girl. more than that, i need to constantly be reminded of the gospel - Christ, the true King who is seated on the real throne, died to pay for my idolatry AND to set me free from it's control. i need to heed the command of Hebrews 12:1-2 and fix my eyes on Him.

praise God for His good word. praise God for musicals. praise God for friends to set me straight when my thinking is skewed. praise God for His never failing forgiveness and grace. praise God for hearing a song by Bleach yesterday to help remind me of the truth. praise God for the words of J.D. Greear that i read on the plane today that really helped to wrap up the train of thought. and God help me, because i know that Your repeated warnings are for a trap that's so easy for me to step into.  

sufficient by bleach:

"And just to taste forgiveness to taste Your mercy on my lips. I long to know contentment burdens lifted You promised it. Let it reach my heart, please let it reach my heart... And just at the right time Your hand of mercy reaches down. Hallelujah, You are sufficient! Hallelujah, You are sufficient!

And I will sing at the top of my lungs... I will sing, and I hope it heals my heart. Yeah I hope it heals my heart. How did I get here? Save me from this. How did I get here? Won't You save me from this? Won't you save me? Won't you save me? Jesus, save me... It is well, it is well. It is well with my soul. Save me. Jesus, name above..."

"Repentance includes a plea for God to change your inconsistent, divided heart." J. D. Greear

Father, change my inconsistent, divided heart!