self examination

i've been reading a book called Death by Love: Letters from the Cross by Mark Driscoll. in the chapter on reconciliation, he had some good stuff about bitterness... its source and some good questions to check ourselves for it:

"bitterness is often unrelated to the magnitude of a sin but is instead correlated to the emotional proximity of the offender. it is also often tied to betrayal. what i mean is this: if a stranger sins against you in a big way, you are unlikely to get bitter. but if a beloved family member or friend sins against you in a little way, you are likely to get bitter because you have opened your heart to that person and have high expectations for the relationship. therefore, those whom you love the most are most likely to provoke your bitterness because their sin rises to the level of betrayal."

am i bitter? questions:

"1. do you continually replay in your mind with great detail a negative past event and dislike for the person(s) involved?
2. do you find yourself continually referring to someone in a pejorative fashion because of some past hurt?
3. do you intentionally avoid certain person(s) because you find yourself becoming continually annoyed or angry in their presence?
4. do you find that your dislike of someone is growing over time?"

*** why is any of this important? remember the words of Hebrews 12:15 "see to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;" bitterness can cause us to miss God's grace and keeps us from living out of it towards others. bitterness causes trouble. bitterness defiles others.

"for He Himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in His flesh the dividing wall of hostility" Ephesians 2:14